Archive for the ‘motherhood challenges’ Category


Anyone who’s ever gone through a busy season knows that it can feel like the world is spinning so fast you’re going to get seasick. I often find myself in these seasons unintentionally, as I pack my life to the margins and work it out so everything fits “just so”…but neglect to leave any room to accommodate surprises  – both good and bad alike.

This is the place I find myself in today, trying to catch my breath. If my life was pushed to the margins a couple of months ago, I’m certain I’m a few surprises past the margins by now. Read the rest of this entry »


My two oldest kids are 6 and 4, but being that my four year old potty trained himself (no joke), I feel REALLY out of touch with the latest potty training methods. Frankly, I’ve been so busy just trying to keep my youngest from meltdowns that potty training hasn’t even crossed my mind. By now, I can change a diaper in three seconds with my eyes closed, so it hasn’t really bothered me. It’s a much bigger hassle trying to squeeze three kids AND a full cart into a tiny stall in the middle of Marshalls because someone “HAS TO GO NOOOOOOOWW”.

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned after being a wife and mother for a certain period of time, it’s that I don’t know that much about what it means to love. It seems simple enough when you first think of it….but am I the only one who feels like loving well can actually get really complicated in certain situations???

I mean, if you had to describe what love was, how would you explain it? Many couples have a reading of I Corinthians 13 at their wedding – I did! But I can’t tell you I had any real idea of what it meant at that time. Or how to apply it! It states that, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”.

That’s a lofty list!

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Ok so here’s a fun fact: Guess what I was voted in high school? Not Best Smile or Most Likely to Succeed…

I was voted Biggest Airhead.

Now, I wasn’t that upset about it at the time BECAUSE it was slightly true. I made myself feel better about the whole thing buy suggesting that, in a fairly large high school like mine, it was a good thing to be voted anything at all. At least people knew my name right?! Also, I told myself that I was “flighty” because I was just busy thinking about bigger, more important and more intellectual things. So the problem really wasn’t at all that I was AIR-headed but that I simply had TOO MUCH going on up there. It’s rough being a genius. would stand to reason that in this season of my life with ALL that I have going on,  I am now more of an airhead than ever. I know we all relate to this a little bit.  When we were pregnant it was “Pregnancy Brain”…but then when pregnancy was over, and we  realized we didn’t recover, we switched to calling it “Mom Brain” or “Momnesia”…and the condition appears to be terminal.

But I think I am one of the worst cases, and it seems to be getting worse. I used to have NO NEED for a calendar…I could always manage days and dates with just a quick moment of concentration. Now, I have THREE calendars and still lose track of where the heck I’m going and when.

I have left my purse in various public places more times than I can count. Just last weekend, my husband received a phone call from my cell phone…while I was standing right next to him.  He looked at me and said, “why are you calling me?” Puzzled, I answered the phone to discover a nice man in possession of my purse AND cell phone, trying to track me down. Just a couple of weeks before that I was paged at the Pumpkin Farm to come get my purse after leaving it by a haystack during picture time with the kids.

One word for that: EMBARRASSING.

AND…just the other day I realized all too late that I had succeeded in packing up all of my kids into the van after Bible Study, but had apparently left the stroller in the parking lot. If anyone had seen this mom of three load all of their kids into the car, then drive off with the stroller left sitting there…don’t you imagine them just giggling?  

But the real kicker was today.  It was my turn to bring food to our MOPS meeting. After the meeting was over, I ran the leftover food out to the car before getting the kids from their classrooms. Later, after picking up my renegade stroller that someone nicely returned to the hallyway, I hustle all three kids out to the car when I realized I had no memory of actually bringing my BAG out to the car…and I began to think I must have left it upstairs. (The funny thing about this too is that I realize this right after sharing with someone about how I had just left the stroller in the parking lot the day before). I was officially beginning to hate myself at this point.

 SO…I turn everyone around and wander all the way back inside, down the hall, and up the elevator to find that it is not there. I begin asking around…”Have you seen a black bag?” “Have YOU seen a black bag?” No luck.

I finally wander back OUT to the car (after picking up some left over donut holes, and stopping for a crazy conversation with a friend in the hallway while my youngest whines for the sippy cup he sees in my hand but that I can’t give him 1) because it’s empty and 2) because as soon as I won’t hold it for him he’s going to lose his ever-loving mind AND while my 2 year old sneaks the donut holes out of the bag because he knows I’m too busy talking to do anything about it). When I get to the car after all of that, I discover my bag sitting right there in the seat.

Proud of myself for not forgetting it but oh so disturbed that I FORGOT that I didn’t forget it. Is there no end to the insanity?

So yes, I’ve always been a big of an airhead but motherhood is only making it worse. I am just grateful I have yet to forget any children anywhere.


So I’m watching my 4 year old daughter play golf on the Wii, and she’s playing like a typical 4 year old. She has some understanding of how to hit the ball, but no real skill  when it comes to putting or chipping (which should be expected I’m sure). But even so,  I see her ready to give the game all the perserverence that it may require of her…and that ends up being not very much at all.  BECAUSE…after hitting the ball eight times, the game simply aborts, says “give up” and moves her automatically on to the next hole.

WHAT?!!! Do you guys REMEMBER what it was like to play video games when we were younger? HOURS and HOURS I spent trying to get past one stinkin’ level. And if you died, you had to start ALL OVER again. You got 3 or 4 lives and that was IT. No save points, no extra guy games where you could score 50 new tries…just a few lives and some willpower was all that you were equipped with to conquer the gaming world. (And it was SOOOO exhilirating when we finally conquered wasn’t it?)

Not so anymore! I know it could be over-the-top (but not completely unlike me) to analyze the effects of even this small change in our culture. BUT what are we teaching our kids when we say that we can’t expect them to stick around long enough to fight through a difficult level?  Heaven forbid our kids have to experience a few moments of frustration! Actually, the GAME was more impatient than my daughter,  because I think she was ready to give it a couple more tries. But it’s like it was saying, “good grief, you stink at this – let’s move on already”. AND it’s not even like it’s trying to HIDE that fact…giant words on the TV screen that say “GIVE UP” are not very subtle. Why not another choice that’s a LITTLE less obvious???

OK so I’m not going to lose sleep on this or anything but I thought it was food for thought. Kids these days. Sheesh.


Today I thought I’d try to summarize my top ten “loves” of motherhood and my top ten “challenges”. I decided on this idea without really even knowing whether I can come up with ten of each or not…I’m interested to see what, if anything, comes out. If nothing does, Ill trash this post and none of you will even know I attempted it. That’s one cool thing about blogging. So here it goes… Read the rest of this entry »


OK so I have some things to work out with  myself here today. I’m having one of those days where the busyness of the last few weeks has completely crept in and taken over. I suddenly feel pushed to my margins and had to call out an S.O.S. to my mom to help me or I was going to lose my mind…or someone else was going to lose an arm or other important body part. Someone was going to lose something.

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So I’m beginning to realize as I write more regularly that my blog is a little skitzophrenic. One minute I’m ranting about nonsense, and the next minute I’m pouring my heart out on some deep and serious issue. Sorry about that.

But…I guess if my blog is to be a true reflection of me then this is probably what’s going to have to happen…not that I’m skitzophrenic (I hope), BUT  I laugh hard and cry hard. I guess I can’t get away from doing BOTH on here, so I really  hope you all can withstand the roller coaster ride :)

ANYWAY…here we go.

I love my job with Catalyst. I only work a few hours a week, but it is so cool to be a part of a HUGE church network. Since I’m the one who maintains the website, I get a bird’s eye view of all the awesome events around my area. But… sometimes I get so used to opening emails and posting the events online, I hardly look at them. That’s what happened when I was emailed about a Prayer Vigil for Adoption Agencies and Adoptive Families. I threw it on our website and never thought twice. Then suddenly, a couple of days later, it popped in my head again and I was drawn to look over the details. I made the decision that I wanted to go. Read the rest of this entry »


For those of you who read my temper tantrum, you know the intimidation factor that exists for me with my kids’ pediatrician. He is a “by the book” kind of guy and dishes out ALL the textbook advice that you read for yourself on the internet but don’t really want to do. It’s one thing when you’re skimming over an article at, but when you’re listening to a living, breathing advice-giver (who makes eye contact and has a ‘judge-y smirk’) it’s much harder to admit you think he’s full of it.

I don’t always even think he’s full of it. Sometimes I think his advice is really right on. But sometimes I just want to grab him by the stethiscope and say…”STOP PRESSURING ME!!!! I’m doing the best I can!!!” Even if it IS good advice, it doesn’t mean I can DO IT. Come on, man.

Anyway, he’s always been one to “encourage” parents to teach their kids to fall asleep on their own. I wont’ bore you with all the reasons why, but he’s really against pacifiers at bedtime…or bottles…or being rocked to sleep (not me, the baby).  Ever since my first child was born, I have had to come face to face with this question EVERY appointment for EACH  and EVERY kid. Read the rest of this entry »


I HATE my dishwasher sometimes. It’s so weird. I know this is like one appliance that I’m supposed to be in love with, but there is just this tension between the two of us that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Like the whole idea of a dishwasher is great. You can just throw your dirty dishes in there and push a little button and voila! Clean dishes for all to enjoy.

But, just like your kids, sometimes your dishwasher doesn’t operate exactly according to the function for which it was created. As we all know, you really do have to halfway-clean your dishes before you even put them INTO the dishwasher… but I don’t think that’s even what bugs me really. I’ve kind of learned to deal with that.

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