Archive for the ‘Kids are Funny’ Category

My two oldest kids are 6 and 4, but being that my four year old potty trained himself (no joke), I feel REALLY out of touch with the latest potty training methods. Frankly, I’ve been so busy just trying to keep my youngest from meltdowns that potty training hasn’t even crossed my mind. By now, I can change a diaper in three seconds with my eyes closed, so it hasn’t really bothered me. It’s a much bigger hassle trying to squeeze three kids AND a full cart into a tiny stall in the middle of Marshalls because someone “HAS TO GO NOOOOOOOWW”.

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Hoping it would inspire the kids to eat, I gave them toothpicks for their ever-so-tasty Dino Nuggets Dinner the other night. I thought they would have fun eating them off of the stick. Kinda like Chicken Satay only with sub-par frozen chicken and no yummy marinade. Minor details, I told myself.

I turn my back for a bit to clean up some dishes and upon turning around, I find THIS:

 

I was informed that THIS is a Dino Nugget Tower. Happy that it appears as though she took at least ONE bite before turning it into building material. Nonetheless, I think it’s safe to say…Chicken Satay: Fail.

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So we’ve all heard how every child is different and, for mothers with multiple children, it becomes even more clear as you watch your various children take on the world…sometimes in VERY different ways.

My daughter and first-born was my “opinionated” one as a baby…she was VERY difficult the first few months, but she settled down pretty quickly and, to this day, is fairly “easy to tame”. Then my son Grayson came along. He was the easy baby, but then at about 1 year old, we joke about how he “woke up”. Out of nowhere, he became this active, charming, zany kid…who I still have a hard time figuring out.

And then there’s my youngest Garrett. Of all the kids, HE is my wild card. I can NOT put him into any category whatsoever. Watching him through his first year of life has been absolute frustration and absolute entertainment. I remember saying just ONE day after he was born how much he reminded me of the intensity of Mackenna as a baby…but he also possessed some of the easy-going-ness of Grayson…all at the same time. It was a strange combination.

At just over a year old, Garrett is probably the most fascinating to me of all the kids.  He cracks me up…both in the “ha ha” way…and in the “driving me insane” way. He can be so pleasant and happy and easy going, but then he gets a bug about something and will become the most stubborn, unshakeable, FRUSTRATING character I’ve ever met.

For example, his new thing now is wanting what anyone else has. He is NOT OK with the food you give him and will continue to “eh eh eh” while whipping his hand furiously toward the thing YOU have that he wants. And all I can say is he is EMPHATIC about what he wants.

Just the other day, I gave the two older kids a half of a graham cracker. I gave Garrett one as well, only I made the mistake of breaking it in two pieces so it would be easier for him to manage. He pitched a FIT. He knew he had gotten smaller pieces than the other two kids, and was not shy about expressing his disdain. He kept pointing to their crackers and muttering what I can only assume were swear words in baby language. Then he had a full blown, roll-around-on-the-floor temper tantrum because of my folly.

I refused to give in and continued to try to hand him the smaller pieces.  He would just smack them out of my hand and throw himself on the floor again. I struggled between feeling completely put-off and totally amused. I finally just set the crackers down on the couch where he could see them. After about 5 minutes of his dramatic display, he came over to get them. He picked up one of the crackers with a big smile on his face and said “Dah!”, showing it to me before putting into his mouth, like nothing had ever happened.

What a little weirdo.

This same child also, at almost 15 months old, REFUSES to hold his own bottle or sippy cup. IF he was my first child, and I had the energy to take on a 4 day war over the issue, I would. But he’s not, and I don’t. So I have, for the sake of time and sanity, given in to his ridiculous demands. Because, just putting his sippy cup on his highchair tray results in it FLYING across the room in complete opposition of my trying to teach him how to be a “big boy”.

But this is what shocked me the most…

One day, his sippy was lying on the floor next to him. He didn’t realize my husband and I were watching him, and he grabbed it and began to drink out of it. If you could have SEEN the look on his face when he noticed we were watching him! I didn’t know a 15 month old could look “busted” but he did. His mouth opened in a surprised expression and he quickly dropped the sippy on the floor and started to whine for us to pick it up and feed it to him. My husband and I were SHOCKED! Any doubt that I had of him actually being CAPABLE of holding his own cup,  just fell to the floor with his sippy. Now I was certain of what I had suspected…this guy has us wrapped.

He also refuses to walk. He CAN and HAS walked across the entire living room. But whenever we try to get him to, he will turn his legs to rubber and sit…all the while looking at us with an expression that says, “bring it on”.

I have to admit, there are days where I have referred to him as a bit of a jerk. Isn’t that terrible? But honestly, in our grown up world if anyone acted like this it’s what we would call them!!!

We’re hanging on for dear life right now and just praying that these strong personality traits are going to make him the next Bill Gates or something. He is undeniably charming, wonderfully comical, and impossibly cute. I just hope the fact that he’s kind of a jerk will get smothered underneath all of that some day.

I’ve attached some pictures of the Graham Cracker Incident below. All you moms out there with feisty children, HANG IN THERE! I feel your pain :)

 

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Mackenna told me another story the other day about her fabled, imaginary Grandma Jasmine. I was digging in the front hall closet and pulled down a basket that consequently spilled its contents all over the foyer. (By the way, my “foyer” is a 3×3 patch of ceramic tile by the front door) Anyway…when this happened, Mackenna looked at me and said, “It’s OK, Mom! It’s OK! My Grandma Jasmine told me that when I do bad things, it’s alright!”. Though I can’t know for sure, I’d be wililng to bet that Mackenna is planning to remind me of this the next time she decides to be naughty.

Just a few days ago, my mom and Mackenna were sitting on the porch and Mackenna saw a spider. She was mimicking her strong and not-scared-of-spiders-at-all mother and reacted to the spider in disgust. My mom tried to convert her into a spider-lover by explaining how spiders are actually very helpful because they eat mosquitoes (which Mackenna despises more than spiders). Mackenna let out a big, grown-up sigh and concluded, “Yeah. I guess they save the world”.

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Just a short post today: Kids are still funny.

The other day, I was telling Mackenna one of her favorite things to hear…”We’re having tacos for dinner!”

She became immediately excited and exclaimed, “YES!!!!” then consequently erupted into a loud, 4 year old-sized “pooter”.

I laughed and said, “Woah! Were you so excited about tacos that you pootered?!” to which SHE replied giggling,

“Yes! I think my butt was excited about having tacos too!”

 I don’t know that butts typically ARE excited for tacos, but hers apparently is.


Grayson’s birthday is coming up so we were asking him what he wanted for his birthday dinner. First it was chicken “nuggies”, but then he decided he wanted “hangle-burs” (that’s HAMBURGERS for my English-speaking friends).

I said, “OK we can have hangl-burs for your birthday dinner, Gray!” He pondered for a moment, then apparently felt the need to follow-up with some clarification…

“But not poop hangle-burs. We don’t eat poop”.

Not sure if that was a commentary on my cooking, but I made sure to make a mental note of it. I make no promises though.

In honor of pooters, here is a flashback video of the kids’ playing with a Whoopie Cushion. A good fart always gets a laugh, doesn’t it? :)

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So if you know anything about the “blogging world” (which I really don’t), there is a common thing called guest posting, where you write a story for someone else’s blog OR they write a story for yours. Today my 2 year old son Grayson will be my guest post.  Now…obviously he can’t type, so I will provide the technical skills while he provides ALL the creativity.

I was rocking him a couple of nights ago, and we were telling each other stories. THIS was Grayson’s story that evening. I can’t really think of a fitting title to really capture it all. So we’re just going to get right to it. (OH and I want to send a shout-out to my girl Kate K. – You’re gonna love this one :) )

Once upon a time there was a kitty cat named Lucas the Pig. And the Kitty Cat went swimming and swimming in the water. But he had a helmet on. So he wouldn’t get water in his nose and eyes. And he swam real good. And then when he got out, he dried off with a towel and had lunch. A peanut butter sandwich. But he didn’t have any arms. He ate the sandwich with his feet. And later his ears hurt and it was OK. But he still didn’t have any arms.  The end.

 THAT is the best story I ever heard. Thanks Guest Post, Grayson!  After reading it back, I’m thinking maybe the title could be “Lucas the Pig the Kitty Cat Goes Swimming: Adventures at Lunch Time with Helmet-Wearing, No-Arm, Pig-Cats.

 

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 Just a short note today with some kid-funnies from my crew:

I don’t know those kids, but that is pretty darn funny. Anyway, the other day, Gray was complaining that his bottom hurt.. He was getting confused about what Balmex was called because he asked us if we would “PLEASE put some sour cream on it”.  And of course, Mackenna responds (more condescendingly that I would have figured a 4 year old to know how) with “Um, Gray…sour cream doesn’t really go on  bottoms”. Yeah not really

Mackenna was taking care of her baby doll yesterday and asked me if I could please finish putting the diaper on the doll, because she wanted to go color. I was in the middle of something and told her she needed to do it herself. She argued with me for a bit so I said, “Honey YOU are the mommy, so YOU should be the one to take care of her” and she responded with, “Well…YOU should be the grandma then and help”.  DUDE

Grayson’s new thing now is to say “No way”. We’ll say, “Gray you’re so cute” and he’ll say “NO way!”  Or “Gray do you want pasta for dinner?” “No way!”  Any time he needs to utilize the word “no”, it is now and emphatic “No way!”  Dont’ know where he picked that up from.

To this day, whenever Ryan doesn’t shave, Mackenna still says, “No, no, Daddy. You can’t kiss me cuz of your crumbs”.  When she was little she used to tell him to go wipe off his face.

 I love my kids’ imagination, don’t you? Grayson plays with this rocking dinosaur thingy we have at our park and yesterday he made sure to tell me that it was a GIRL dinosaur and it was nice, not mean. And he named her Jacob. And Mackenna has an imaginary Grandma Jasmine that apparently lets her eat chocolate for dinner and go to bed whenever she wants. They also paint together all the time and she took her ice skating once.

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