I HATE my dishwasher sometimes. It’s so weird. I know this is like one appliance that I’m supposed to be in love with, but there is just this tension between the two of us that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Like the whole idea of a dishwasher is great. You can just throw your dirty dishes in there and push a little button and voila! Clean dishes for all to enjoy.

But, just like your kids, sometimes your dishwasher doesn’t operate exactly according to the function for which it was created. As we all know, you really do have to halfway-clean your dishes before you even put them INTO the dishwasher… but I don’t think that’s even what bugs me really. I’ve kind of learned to deal with that.

I guess part of my problem is with the loading process. I get just a  little frustrated at trying to figure out exactly HOW to do this. I mean, there are  just two drawers with random little configurations of white plastic pegs and I’m supposed to somehow find the most efficient and space-saving way to load dishes so that they all fit perfectly and are at the optimal angle for peak performance. I feel like that whole process is like a project I had back  in shop class or something. Why doesn’t it come with a map or some explanation for what goes where? Am I to ASSUME that glasses go on top and bowls on the bottom? What about my plates? Do they go in the slots that LOOK like plate slots because they can also fit in the spot where I usually put my glasses…I don’t know!!! (And have you ever noticed that no two dishwashers are alike?) AND would you believe that my HUSBAND actually yells at me for doing it wrong?? This is weird on so many levels. 1) He would never be the kind of guy you’d EVER peg as one to care about dishwasher etiquette and 2) HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS?! He always opens it and shakes his head as if to say, “Wow, how can you NOT know that the tall glasses go on the left side?”  Whatever, dude. 

But that’s not really even what bugs me the most. I actually (believe it or not) DO manage to get past all of these semi-psycho issues enough  to load my dishwasher when necessary (despite my husband’s lame comments and head-shaking). I just throw the dishes in there and pray all turns out well…kind of like a domestic “Hail Mary”. So that’s not so bad. The part that bugs me the most…I mean REALLY bugs me…

Is unloading the stupid thing.

I HATE this part. I don’t know why! Of ALL the chores we have to do in a house, I’m telling you I hate this one the most. I’d rather clean toilets, mop the floor, feed the dog (if I had one), change poopy diapers, type a research paper, or give my husband a pedicure…any or all of those things before I will unload the dishwasher. SERIOUSLY, I hate it that much. Isn’t that bizarre??

And today is when I really knew I had a problem. I actually WASHED two sinkfuls (is that word?) of dishes by hand, just because I didn’t want to empty the dishwasher. That took me about 40 minutes when it would have probably only taken me about 5 to just EMPTY the DISHWASHER. (You can private message me later if you’d like to know why I had TWO sinkfuls of dishes to do). But for real, as I sat there washing the dishes, I saw the dishwasher out of the corner of my eye…taunting me like “You know…you could just unload me and this would ALL be over with”…and I KNEW it was right but I just couldn’t do it. I hated myself for my ridiculousness in that moment.

I don’t know exactly why I detest it so much. Probably because my husband is semi-right and my disorganization with the loading process does sort of make it difficult during the retrieval process. Also, I can’t STAND when something doesn’t come out clean…because it’s like kind of clean. Like you pull out this bowl and it’s all sparkly-looking and still hot and it even squeaks when you rub it…yet there’s this one weird crusty thing on it…but the WHOLE rest of the bowl  is SPOTLESS. What is that?! And it’s like after you put a stained shirt in the dryer…now this crusty thing is embedded in the bowl and you have to REALLY work to get it off. AND…when I’m in “unloading mode” the last thing in the world I want to do is deal with a crusty-having dish! Where do I put it? I’m trying to put things AWAY right now… So what do I do with this dish that isn’t cooperating?!

Who here has had that happen and put it away anyway? :)

Anyway, I know this is probably WAY past some of you and I might be the only one with this disdain for automatic dishwashing devices, but it’s just part of me and my domestic make-up I guess.

I just have to figure some way to fix this because I also discovered today that I DESPISE washing dishes by hand.

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3 Responses to “Of ALL the Things to Despise…”

  • Shannon:

    I sooooo agree, Nic. I always wash them by hand for the same reason. Though, I am good at loading it for optimal performance, I would still rather wash, dry, and put away without the use of the dishwasher.

    I have one advantage over you. I am the proud mother of a 17 year old. David loads the dishwasher. Jessica unloads it. It is her one and only chore in the house because I find it to be the most irritating one.

    At the end of the day, your feelings for your dishwasher are shared by many. You are not alone. As for the 4 sinkfuls of dishes? There is no need to ask why.

  • Motherhood Confessions:

    HA HA! I can’t wait til I have a 17 year old!!! :) You’re so lucky lol

  • Kate:

    For some reason I have the exact same relationship with my dishwasher! The best part is that Tim and the dishwasher seem to have a “love-love” relationship. Must be a guy thing! Just when I think I can’t fit in one more sippy cup, he can add in 10 more plates, a few bowls and then some!! Drives me nuts, so he wins and gets to do the dishes!! :)

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