Posts Tagged ‘humorous motherhood’

Hoping it would inspire the kids to eat, I gave them toothpicks for their ever-so-tasty Dino Nuggets Dinner the other night. I thought they would have fun eating them off of the stick. Kinda like Chicken Satay only with sub-par frozen chicken and no yummy marinade. Minor details, I told myself.

I turn my back for a bit to clean up some dishes and upon turning around, I find THIS:


I was informed that THIS is a Dino Nugget Tower. Happy that it appears as though she took at least ONE bite before turning it into building material. Nonetheless, I think it’s safe to say…Chicken Satay: Fail.


Do you guys ever feel that with ALL THE INFO out there…the countless websites, the infinite number of parenting magazines, books, and articles…that it’s a RARE thing to find real, practical advice that you end up applying?? How many hours do we spend soaking this stuff up and how much change does it actually end up delivering? I mean, I think most of the advice out there, like directions on the back of a shampoo bottle, deserves a big, fat “DUH” from those of us with common sense. New moms, save your money and trust your instincts. You know more about your own baby than most of the “experts” out there anyway!


I personally like that last one.


So we’ve all heard how every child is different and, for mothers with multiple children, it becomes even more clear as you watch your various children take on the world…sometimes in VERY different ways.

My daughter and first-born was my “opinionated” one as a baby…she was VERY difficult the first few months, but she settled down pretty quickly and, to this day, is fairly “easy to tame”. Then my son Grayson came along. He was the easy baby, but then at about 1 year old, we joke about how he “woke up”. Out of nowhere, he became this active, charming, zany kid…who I still have a hard time figuring out.

And then there’s my youngest Garrett. Of all the kids, HE is my wild card. I can NOT put him into any category whatsoever. Watching him through his first year of life has been absolute frustration and absolute entertainment. I remember saying just ONE day after he was born how much he reminded me of the intensity of Mackenna as a baby…but he also possessed some of the easy-going-ness of Grayson…all at the same time. It was a strange combination.

At just over a year old, Garrett is probably the most fascinating to me of all the kids.  He cracks me up…both in the “ha ha” way…and in the “driving me insane” way. He can be so pleasant and happy and easy going, but then he gets a bug about something and will become the most stubborn, unshakeable, FRUSTRATING character I’ve ever met.

For example, his new thing now is wanting what anyone else has. He is NOT OK with the food you give him and will continue to “eh eh eh” while whipping his hand furiously toward the thing YOU have that he wants. And all I can say is he is EMPHATIC about what he wants.

Just the other day, I gave the two older kids a half of a graham cracker. I gave Garrett one as well, only I made the mistake of breaking it in two pieces so it would be easier for him to manage. He pitched a FIT. He knew he had gotten smaller pieces than the other two kids, and was not shy about expressing his disdain. He kept pointing to their crackers and muttering what I can only assume were swear words in baby language. Then he had a full blown, roll-around-on-the-floor temper tantrum because of my folly.

I refused to give in and continued to try to hand him the smaller pieces.  He would just smack them out of my hand and throw himself on the floor again. I struggled between feeling completely put-off and totally amused. I finally just set the crackers down on the couch where he could see them. After about 5 minutes of his dramatic display, he came over to get them. He picked up one of the crackers with a big smile on his face and said “Dah!”, showing it to me before putting into his mouth, like nothing had ever happened.

What a little weirdo.

This same child also, at almost 15 months old, REFUSES to hold his own bottle or sippy cup. IF he was my first child, and I had the energy to take on a 4 day war over the issue, I would. But he’s not, and I don’t. So I have, for the sake of time and sanity, given in to his ridiculous demands. Because, just putting his sippy cup on his highchair tray results in it FLYING across the room in complete opposition of my trying to teach him how to be a “big boy”.

But this is what shocked me the most…

One day, his sippy was lying on the floor next to him. He didn’t realize my husband and I were watching him, and he grabbed it and began to drink out of it. If you could have SEEN the look on his face when he noticed we were watching him! I didn’t know a 15 month old could look “busted” but he did. His mouth opened in a surprised expression and he quickly dropped the sippy on the floor and started to whine for us to pick it up and feed it to him. My husband and I were SHOCKED! Any doubt that I had of him actually being CAPABLE of holding his own cup,  just fell to the floor with his sippy. Now I was certain of what I had suspected…this guy has us wrapped.

He also refuses to walk. He CAN and HAS walked across the entire living room. But whenever we try to get him to, he will turn his legs to rubber and sit…all the while looking at us with an expression that says, “bring it on”.

I have to admit, there are days where I have referred to him as a bit of a jerk. Isn’t that terrible? But honestly, in our grown up world if anyone acted like this it’s what we would call them!!!

We’re hanging on for dear life right now and just praying that these strong personality traits are going to make him the next Bill Gates or something. He is undeniably charming, wonderfully comical, and impossibly cute. I just hope the fact that he’s kind of a jerk will get smothered underneath all of that some day.

I’ve attached some pictures of the Graham Cracker Incident below. All you moms out there with feisty children, HANG IN THERE! I feel your pain :)



Trying to get a cute shot of Garrett in the pool….looks like The Godfather in training….

 “Hey Ma! I’m tryin’ to do some SUN batin’ ova hee-ya!”


Here’s the sweet shot I was looking for…I will once again have to use the “crop” feature on my picture editor to take care of the Other Boy apparently exercising his right to an uninhibited childhood.


Speaking of an uninhibited childhood…

You guys know the Naked Cowboy from NYC? Well he’s got NOTHIN’ on my Midwest version.

This is NOT a show you want a back-stage pass to, however. Poor Mackenna.


And finally, just today I caught Garrett taking his onesie for a walk with his pacifier.

“Hey Ma! If you’re gonna change my clothes, make sure you re-attach the pacifier to the right outfit, eh?!”

 That’s all for now – happy friday!


Today I thought I’d try to summarize my top ten “loves” of motherhood and my top ten “challenges”. I decided on this idea without really even knowing whether I can come up with ten of each or not…I’m interested to see what, if anything, comes out. If nothing does, Ill trash this post and none of you will even know I attempted it. That’s one cool thing about blogging. So here it goes… Read the rest of this entry »

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Missional Women