So it has been a long day of dealing with a teething baby who ALSO seems to have a cold (or is the snotty nose a symptom of teething?) who ALSO seems to have a stomach bug because he’s thrown up / spit up like 5 times today…OR is that a symptom of the snotty nose (which may or may not be a symptom of teething), which makes him cough and subsequently makes him throw up?!
Oh my, I need a nap. The point is, it’s been a rough day…one of those days where you’re person-hood almost gets lost. You know what I’m talking about? Not that motherhood isn’t ALWAYS, to some extent, all about giving yourself up for another human being…but there are some days when it’s pushed to the MAX. Like you go into some alternate universe where you forget to eat, breathe, even PEE, because all you can think about is getting your little one to feel better.
I had one of those days today. The proof? Even now as I type, I’m embarrassed to say that I’m sitting on the couch STILL wearing the third shirt I put on today with spit up/throw up on it. Not much – don’t worry…but still. Is that gross or what?
Yeah, that’s gross.
In some ways, my mom (and best friend) LOVES seeing me in moments like these…moments where I’m in a baseball hat with unidentified matter on my shirt, and feeling completely and utterly exhausted. She doesn’t like to see me suffer, of course, but she does get a kick out of the humbling effect it has on me. I can’t say I blame her. She and I both know what a GIANT leap I’ve made into the real world since my sorority days back in college.
I was your typical college co-ed female…I used to take great pride in making sure I ALWAYS looked my best and couldn’t CONCEIVE of going out some place wearing something that WASN’T new…I NEVER had roots…and heaven forbid I went two days without hitting up a tanning bed…”I’m SO pale, yuck”, I would say. These are the things I cared about then. Oh…and where the next party was (like, DUH).
How does life change SO QUICKLY? Well…I do still complain that I’m pale, but I don’t DO anything about it now (baby steps right?)…and I DO still have a hard time going out NOT wearing something new, but only because of Facebook. It used to be that if you were going out with TWO different groups of people, you could wear the same outfit and no one would be the wiser…NOW, you’re tagged in the album “Fun with Friends” looking dapper in your new fuscia tube dress, and then the following weekend you’re tagged in the album “My Cousin’s Wedding”…wearing (gasp!) the same darn dress. Suddenly your fuscia-wearing self is littered all over the internet, and it looks like you own no other clothes. Does it sound like I’m speaking from experience?
I’ll never tell. The point is, I’m a far cry from the person I was back in college (OK maybe having throw-up on your shirt isn’t all that different from college-life for some people). It’s just crazy sometimes because, though I know it’s been NINE YEARS, it feels like a blink of an eye in some ways. Today was just one of those days where the full impact of it all really sinks in. One day with a sick child or a disciplined-challenged toddler will thrust you into that reality…where you look at yourself in the mirror with spit-up all over your shirt…or you don’t even NOTICE you have spit-up all over your shirt until you sit down at 9:30 PM…and you think…
“Wow. I’m a MOM“.
Full-fledged, SpitUp-Wearing Mom. How does it all happen so fast? The first decade of our life is an absolute eternity, and the second decade goes by equally slowly. Think about it. The years from 10 to 20…isn’t that a LIFETIME?! Then suddenly the next ten years finds you hopping UNIVERSES in two seconds flat. It’s just so crazy to me. I actually went from a single, fresh-out-of-college female to a married, mother-of- three in just 7 years. I’m still trying to catch my breath.
But…of course here’s the part where I have to say that I wouldn’t trade a day. I really do mean that. I LOVE being a mom. I HATE that I have spit-up on my shirt…but I LOVE being a mom. And that just comes with the territory I guess.
I also LOVE being a woman… don’t EVER lose that part of yourself. I might have been just a TAD BIT shallow in college :), but it IS OK to want to feel pretty and take care of ourselves. I LOVE that we can go from SpitUp Moms one day to Knockout Moms the next. What an awesome thing isn’t it? Yes, sometimes on days like today I look around and think “How did I get here?”…and then I realize that I don’t even care…because I really do LOVE it.
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