My Blog | Motherhood Confessions

Kids are Funny…

Just a short note today with some kid-funnies from my crew:

I don’t know those kids, but that is pretty darn funny. Anyway, the other day, Gray was complaining that his bottom hurt.. He was getting confused about what Balmex was called because he asked us if we would “PLEASE put some sour cream on it”. And of course, Mackenna responds (more condescendingly that I would have figured a 4 year old to know how) with “Um, Gray…sour cream doesn’t really go on bottoms”. Yeah not really.

Mackenna was taking care of her baby doll yesterday and asked me if I could please finish putting the diaper on the doll, because she wanted to go color. I was in the middle of something and told her she needed to do it herself. She argued with me for a bit so I said, “Honey YOU are the mommy, so YOU should be the one to take care of her” and she responded with, “Well…YOU should be the grandma then and help”. DUDE…

Grayson’s new thing now is to say “No way”. We’ll say, “Gray you’re so cute” and he’ll say “NO way!” Or “Gray do you want pasta for dinner?” “No way!” Any time he needs to utilize the word “no”, it is now and emphatic “No way!” Dont’ know where he picked that up from.

To this day, whenever Ryan doesn’t shave, Mackenna still says, “No, no, Daddy. You can’t kiss me cuz of your crumbs”. When she was little she used to tell him to go wipe off his face.

I love my kids’ imagination, don’t you? Grayson plays with this rocking dinosaur thingy we have at our park and yesterday he made sure to tell me that it was a GIRL dinosaur and it was nice, not mean. And he named her Jacob. And Mackenna has an imaginary Grandma Jasmine that apparently lets her eat chocolate for dinner and go to bed whenever she wants. They also paint together all the time and she took her ice skating once.

The Forgotten

So I’m beginning to realize as I write more regularly that my blog is a little skitzophrenic. One minute I’m ranting about nonsense, and the next minute I’m pouring my heart out on some deep and serious issue. Sorry about that.

But…I guess if my blog is to be a true reflection of me then this is probably what’s going to have to happen…not that I’m skitzophrenic (I hope), BUT I laugh hard and cry hard. I guess I can’t get away from doing BOTH on here, so I really hope you all can withstand the roller coaster ride

ANYWAY…here we go.

I love my job with Catalyst. I only work a few hours a week, but it is so cool to be a part of a HUGE church network. Since I’m the one who maintains the website, I get a bird’s eye view of all the awesome events around my area. But… sometimes I get so used to opening emails and posting the events online, I hardly look at them. That’s what happened when I was emailed about a Prayer Vigil for Adoption Agencies and Adoptive Families. I threw it on our website and never thought twice. Then suddenly, a couple of days later, it popped in my head again and I was drawn to look over the details. I made the decision that I wanted to go. Continue reading The Forgotten

Fun Photo Friday

My husband and I LOVE sushi…love it. We get it all the time. SO…for Mother’s Day, my sweet hubby decided to surprise me by buying everything we need to make sushi right at home. He bought crab legs, shrimp and yummy veggies, the special bamboo sushi roller…the whole nine yards. I was not allowed in the kitchen until it was all ready. Then he served me – totally 5-Star dining style …on a TV tray in the living room. What a great guy huh?!

And…while the sushi may NOT have been the prettiest, it was DELICIOUS!

It’s just too bad that I put on WAY too much wasabi (as I often do) and almost peed my pants.

But we also all know what happens when mom takes the day off for Mother’s Day right?

The house explodes.

Ok… that’s not quite fair – my house looks like this even when I’m in charge but let’s keep that between us. Man oh man, I remember when my living room used to be a living room. Not so anymore. Now I can’t walk through it without something singing, lighting up, or warbling. Think Double Dare.

You are correct, two of those kids aren’t mine.

And yes, that is a trampoline. I always thought a kid-sized hampster wheel would be the BEST thing ever invented but I’ve never been able to find one. This is totally the next best thing. See, all my friends have BACKYARDS, so they can buy those ginormous broken-legs-waiting-to-happen trampolines…but not my family. My kids get a Denise Austin exercise tramp in the middle of the living room. It’s great. Especially in the winter. They bounce their little hearts out and sleep like babies. Best 30 bucks I ever spent.

But… just when I think all my mess problems are in the living room, I have even more issues in my kitchen. I really want to know how this stuff happens. It’s no wonder my house is never clean. I am being sabotaged…by some THING, some WHERE. I fed the kids lunch and left half an avacado on the counter in case they wanted more…minutes later, I return to the kitchen and see this:

In case you missed it, please take note that the avacado PIT has sprung from the appropriate place (in the avacado) and somehow landed in the baby formula…

“What the…”

And finally, in keeping with my messy theme, I’d like to show you what happens when Dad feeds the baby. Sweet Potatoes are SOOO the new thing for stylish hair.

Happy Friday everyone!

Take THAT Doc!

For those of you who read my temper tantrum, you know the intimidation factor that exists for me with my kids’ pediatrician. He is a “by the book” kind of guy and dishes out ALL the textbook advice that you read for yourself on the internet but don’t really want to do. It’s one thing when you’re skimming over an article at babycenter.com, but when you’re listening to a living, breathing advice-giver (who makes eye contact and has a ‘judge-y smirk’) it’s much harder to admit you think he’s full of it.

I don’t always even think he’s full of it. Sometimes I think his advice is really right on. But sometimes I just want to grab him by the stethiscope and say…”STOP PRESSURING ME!!!! I’m doing the best I can!!!” Even if it IS good advice, it doesn’t mean I can DO IT. Come on, man.

Anyway, he’s always been one to “encourage” parents to teach their kids to fall asleep on their own. I wont’ bore you with all the reasons why, but he’s really against pacifiers at bedtime…or bottles…or being rocked to sleep (not me, the baby). Ever since my first child was born, I have had to come face to face with this question EVERY appointment for EACH and EVERY kid. Continue reading Take THAT Doc!

Football…

OK. I have another confession to make: I don’t get football.

This is definitely to the detriment of my poor husband, but I really don’t get it. I don’t know how I can be raised in the midwest, attend a big-ten university, and marry a football-lover and still just NOT understand the game.

In my defense, God did not create me with a natural bent towards the athletic arts. When I play volleyball, I spend more time with my head ducked in between my elbows than actually making hand-to-ball contact. And my parents have a video tape of me playing softball when I was seven… I am actually styling my hair in right field. Sad thing is, I thought I was so good because my coach put me out in the field because of my “nice, strong arm”. Too bad I didn’t learn until years later that you don’t need a strong arm when you’re dealing with seven year olds, and right field is really where you stick the losers. That’s OK…I excelled in ballet and tap dancing – you know, the REAL sports.

Anywho. I told my husband that watching football – for me – is LITERALLY like staring at a blank wall. I can’t make sense of anything in front of me and therefore, I might as well be looking at nothing. He really hates that I can’t sit and watch games with him…so we thought it would be a great idea to try to teach me how it all works. Since we have TIVO, he figured we could watch a game, and he could walk me through everything that’s happening. He said I could ask him as MANY questions as I need to. He can pause it, explain what happened and then we can continue watching. This sounds like such a good idea in theory…my poor husband had no idea what he was dealing with. Besides the fact that it took us 6 hours to get through a game, I think I was asking all the wrong questions. Continue reading Football…

Fun Photo Friday

Just one photo today: I’d like to call this one, “Bacon in the Bathtub”. Because you’re never too young to multi-task.

Of ALL the Things to Despise…

I HATE my dishwasher sometimes. It’s so weird. I know this is like one appliance that I’m supposed to be in love with, but there is just this tension between the two of us that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Like the whole idea of a dishwasher is great. You can just throw your dirty dishes in there and push a little button and voila! Clean dishes for all to enjoy.

But, just like your kids, sometimes your dishwasher doesn’t operate exactly according to the function for which it was created. As we all know, you really do have to halfway-clean your dishes before you even put them INTO the dishwasher… but I don’t think that’s even what bugs me really. I’ve kind of learned to deal with that.

Continue reading Of ALL the Things to Despise…

I Could Have an Affair…

How’s that for a attention-grabbing title??? Now…I know I didn’t specify WHAT I might have an affair with. Maybe I am talking about a love affair with chocolate…or peanut butter…or chocolate AND peanut butter…Ooh! Like in the peanut butter chocolate silk pie I just had at Baker’s Square a few nights ago…

Yumm….OK sorry, let’s dial it back in.

SO…what if I went even further and said, “I could have an affair with another man?”

Do I have your attention yet? Well, if you’re waiting for the punchline today, there actually isn’t one. This is a more serious post (I just HAVE to do it sometimes!)

Continue reading I Could Have an Affair…

Fun Photo Friday

For this post, I thought I’d just share some recent photos from the Life of Motherhood.

To start things off, all I have to say for this first one is WHY…

He's going to be doing this until he's 25

Next, we took some lovely pictures outside this past Easter. This one was the winning shot….

BUT before we got THAT shot, we got THIS one….

The Easter Kids two... — Here, Mom I'll hold his face just so... and it will look SO beautiful...

When I was a little girl, I used to “do” my mom’s hair. I put every hair-bow and barrett I owned on her head. She must have been too scared to seek revenge on ME…so she went after my daughter.

I thought I only had to worry about this problem with my husband….

Trying to get a cute, CANDID shot of them during our last spaghetti dinner…wonder where they get their sense of humor from…

The Boy seems to have the same disease…

And finally, I’d like to send a quick shout out to Ryan Phillippe. Ryan, we have your kid. To get him back, please pay us 1oo billion dollars.

Happy Friday everyone!

(And by the way, has anyone EVER seen Ryan Phillippe’s teeth? Someone needs to go tickle him.)

Sorority Life?!

So it has been a long day of dealing with a teething baby who ALSO seems to have a cold (or is the snotty nose a symptom of teething?) who ALSO seems to have a stomach bug because he’s thrown up / spit up like 5 times today…OR is that a symptom of the snotty nose (which may or may not be a symptom of teething), which makes him cough and subsequently makes him throw up?!

Oh my, I need a nap. The point is, it’s been a rough day…one of those days where you’re person-hood almost gets lost. You know what I’m talking about? Not that motherhood isn’t ALWAYS, to some extent, all about giving yourself up for another human being…but there are some days when it’s pushed to the MAX. Like you go into some alternate universe where you forget to eat, breathe, even PEE, because all you can think about is getting your little one to feel better. Continue reading Sorority Life?!